Dellanira Alcauter supported her family when her mother couldn’t

He told them that they weren’t allowed to leave. He gathered all of the phones in the house so they couldn’t call for help. And then he stood in the doorway, blocking their exit.

This was the moment sophomore Dellanira Alcauter said she knew she had to take care of her family. 10 years old at the time, Alcauter, her mother, and her younger sister had come home to find her father had returned after several days of unexplained absence. He launched into angry accusations that her mother was cheating on him.

“He kept getting angrier,” Alcauter said. “My mom was just crying on the bed, she wouldn’t do anything.”  

Seeing that no one else was going to, Alcauter said she “had to be the one to take control of the situation.”

With bravery beyond her years, Alcauter went up to her intoxicated father and took a phone from him, demanding he let them leave. Though she was afraid “that he was going to hit me,” Alcauter’s actions simply made sense to her. “In that moment, I saw that I had to be the one to protect us.”

Carrying such heavy responsibility seemed normal to Alcauter, as she was born into expectations fostered by her mother’s missteps. Alcauter’s mother dropped out of school in Mexico as a sophomore. She was neglected by her mother and alcoholic father. At 14, she eloped and came to America, soon pregnant with Alcauter’s older sister.

Alcauter’s mother warned against her making the same mistakes she had in youth, being strict and protective without being supportive of her daughter. But Alcauter was motivated nonetheless.      

“Seeing all the problems (my mom) faced I knew I couldn’t make those bad decisions.”

Regardless of Alcauter’s decisions, an element of her mother’s family recurred in Dellanira’s life:  her alcoholic, absentee father. Currently, her mother is remarried, and Alcauter’s biological father resides in Mexico. She has not seen him in two years.

“I think maybe sooner or later my dad would have realized ‘I’m not being a father,’” Alcauter said. “But he’s still my dad and I’ll love him no matter what.”

Despite a less-than-stable home life, Alcauter has flourished in school. She has a challenging array of advanced classes, transitioning from regular courses to honors is a transition her teachers have called “seamless.” Academically, Alcauter has been entirely self-motivated.

“(My parents) don’t care if I take honors or not,” Alcauter said. Her logic behind the decision to take a more challenging route through high school is simple: “I’m trying to take advantage of the free education.” She understands the importance of education to her future. “I want to be able to pick any career I want,” she said. “And not have to struggle to support myself or my family.”

Alcauter has witnessed this financial struggle first-hand. “(My mom) has always really struggled with maintaining a stable house,” she said. Before she remarried, her mother “was always at work,” leaving the responsibilities of cooking and cleaning on Alcauter and her older sister.

“It was a part of our life,” she said. “We didn’t see it as extra weight on our shoulders.”  

Nevertheless, Alcauter has always been a strong student regardless of her struggles at home. Her Sophomore Honors English teacher Sam Pope has noticed her pursuit of academic excellence. “As a student, she works really hard and asks good questions,” Pope said. “She’s really insightful.”

Despite her self-motivated effort to do well, Alcauter’s stepfather has had his issues with her academic performance, doubting her when she says she’s doing well. Alcauter doesn’t really mind. “I think ‘Okay, that’s fine, just let my report card prove it.’”

And with A’s in nearly every class, and a set of unique struggles behind her, she certainly has.