Women should not be viewed as caretakers


By the time I was 10 years old I knew how to wash dishes, do my own laundry, and clean my own room. I wasn’t just a daughter to my parents. I was also a babysitter and a source for cleaning up messes that weren’t made by me. I was discouraged from talking to boys and was always told to dress appropriately when going outside. I was groomed to meet the expectations of a woman long before I was even of age to be a woman.

By the time my 6 year old brother is 10, he will not know how to wash dishes, wash his own clothes, or clean up his own room. He will be my parents’ son who is a “momma’s boy,” and who is “just like his dad.” He will be catered to, and will be allowed to relax while my sister who is a few years older will be doing the household chores.
He won’t be discouraged from talking to girls; in fact, he will be encouraged to talk to them and praised if he is popular among them. He won’t be discouraged from wearing whatever he wants. My brother will be raised to be taken care of by a woman.

My experience growing up may seem unique to some, but for many, it is all too familiar. Girls are groomed from a young age to follow what a woman should look like, act like, and dress like. It is in this day and age of gradual acceptance and comfortability within one’s self that women are starting to speak up about the ways they were raised in comparison to their male counterparts. The differences are being brought up and talked about in most social media platforms.
It seems as if men are the ones holding onto this traditional way of upbringing because the status quo caters to them. Whenever this topic is brought up on social media or in discussions, it’s noticeable that men are quick to defend this way of upbringing. Often, men will excuse it by saying statements along the lines of “that’s just how people have been raised,” or even “women should know how to take care of a man.”

It seems as if men are the majority of the crowd defending this behavior because it’s in their best interest. Of course, someone would want to have a relaxed way of living. It’s a no brainer for them to support this way of raising children. Whether it be a conscious choice to support this tradition, or a subconscious decision because this way of upbringing has been instilled in their minds, too many men are desperately grasping onto this tradition. This desperation is noticeable especially in social media. Several different times, I have read posts from men that were complaining about their girlfriends or wives not cooking or cleaning for them. Men seem to have a preset mindset of women being responsible for taking care of them, and for them to think this way is disappointing.
Men need to change their outlook and become aware of the problems with the mindset surrounding this tradition. Of course things have changed for women; but things just aren’t as progressive as we’d like them to be. In order to continue this flow of positive change that has been happening over the years, the small aspects of everyday life for women need to change for the better. In this case, one of the small aspects being the way they are being raised.

A big question that seems to be brought up towards this topic is why are women being raised this way? Well, the answer is simple. Women have always been expected to stay at home and be the perfect housewife. In the past they were told to stay at home and take care of the domestic issues. Women were raised with the mindset of marriage as the ultimate goal, and that they should be able to serve their husbands the best that they could.
Expectations for women have changed quite a bit since then. Because women are encouraged to be more independent and take on a career, they are not so much expected to take care of the household chores anymore. Nevertheless, in some households, girls are still being raised to fit this persona of a “perfect woman” that has been created by the deep misogyny and sexism instilled in most men’s minds.

While women are being raised to be the housekeeper and caretaker, men are being raised to be taken care of. Boys are still being coddled and catered to. This behavior that has been inscribed in the minds of parents needs to stop. Parents need to take a step back and think of the way they are raising their children. They need to understand that boys shouldn’t be raised to be taken care of by a woman, and girls shouldn’t be raised to be the sole caretaker of their families.
Treating women as a source of housekeeping is wrong and unfair. It’s unfair that because of the way men are being raised women have to accommodate.
It’s unfair that women are told to dress appropriately whilst men are neglected to be told not to rape. It’s unfair that girls are forced to grow into women early while “boys will always be boys.”