“Julia. I love you.”  These would have been the final words of Valentina Stover, a former Stagg student, to her little cousin had she not been found by friends after attempting to overdose on sleeping pills. Nine percent of teenagers attempt suicide, according to the Child Trends website. Stover is now ready to spread her story in the hope that it has a possibility of helping those in need and going through the same experience. She visited the campus during Suicide Awareness Week. After a car accident that ended up killing her two best friends, Stover began to experience post traumatic stress disorder at the age of 13. She began to self harm at first, but throughout the next few years she began to consume alcohol, painkillers, and sleeping pills in order to cope.

She and her family at first didn’t consider depression as a real medical condition, thinking that she was just being too emotional. She began to think that something must be wrong with her for being so sad, yet Stover continued to feel as if there was no point in anything and carried a burdening sense of darkness even years after the incident because of her survivor’s guilt. She would hide her depression behind a facade of outgoing cheerfulness, effectively hiding her sadness from her peers and teachers.

“She seemed happy-go-lucky with no more problems than an average kid,” said Martin Bagnasco, English teacher who had Stover as a student. Despite how others her perceived her, Stover displayed many of the typical signs of depression, such as wanting to change her appearance or sleeping most of her days away. At the age of 19, in her last suicide attempt, she ingested seven sleeping pills, chased down with Captain Morgan. Although Stover had attempted suicide before, this last time she became tired and felt a sensation of numbness seep into her legs and slowly make its way up her body which scared her, unlike the other times in which she only felt sick to her stomach and would soon throw up. In that moment she realized that perhaps she didn’t actually want to die.

After being found by her friends she was taken to Dameron Hospital, where she stayed for 20 hours, then taken to a mental health facility for seven days. The staff would record everything little thing she did — when she cried — when she ate, which made her despise the facility. “When I got out my only thought process was that I’m never going back there,” she said. Not only is Stover leading a happier life, but she has gone on to accomplish and experience wonderful things, such as having seven of her books published and traveling around the world, all before the age of 24. Though she is better than before, Stover still struggles with depression and now uses more effective ways of coping, noting that self care is, above all else, most important to leading a happier life. Talking about things with others also helps her tremendously, as does writing, and she also seeks solace with her cousin on especially difficult days. “That was the difference. When I would feel like that I would isolate myself from everybody, and I’m learning to pull myself out of that.”