Having older siblings can be tough, especially for me. They’ve laid out my life for me. And in doing so, they’ve made mistakes. Because of their flaws, my parents have transformed into overly cautious clams, trapping me inside, to raise me differently so that I can come out “clean” like a polished pearl.

Growing up, my two sisters were my idols.They’re pretty, creative, and have a great taste in fashion. I hung out with them every chance I got and I wanted to be like them. As they’ve gotten older, my sisters experienced new things. They’d go out to parties and drink often. My sisters have made mistakes in the past and now they are just settling for average. When days turned into years, my perspective of them changed.

I still look up to them, but in a different way from most people. Usually, one’s older siblings are role models, but not in my case. I look at them as a guide through life. I learn from their mistakes and accomplishments: what to do and what not to do.

I’ve been through many talks with my parents, where they keep pushing me to work hard so that I don’t follow the same road my sisters took. I can remember multiple times when my parents didn’t allow me to be associated with my sisters and their friends. For example, earlier this year, I wanted to go camping with them, but my parents didn’t let me. They knew that my sisters’ friends would be there, so they said that they didn’t want me to be exposed to alcohol.

My older sister was bummed that I couldn’t make it because the camping trip was for her birthday, but she accepted my parents’ wish. She said that it was okay because we still spend time together as a family. It’s upsetting at times, when I can’t spend time with my sisters due to their lifestyle choice. I know my parents want the best for me, but I tend to feel the pressure to develop into the polished pearl that they want me to be.

After all these conversations with my parents and knowing how my sisters live their life, it motivates me to try my best in school and to become successful. I don’t want to become like my sisters.  I want to be my own person, to stand out and step out of my sisters’ shadows.