There are bad band members.

As much as it’s disappointing to say, it’s true. All of them aren’t the dedicated, fan oriented musician that save tons of lives. Some of them can be exactly what media portrays them to be– arrogant, greedy, and self fulfilled.

March 31 was the night.

The night I was able to watch my favorite musician perform, Jonny Craig. From his first band Dance Gavin Dance, to many of his side projects, to his recent band Slaves, I’ve been a fan.

Scrolling through Twitter, watching YouTube videos, Jonny Craig is made out to be full of himself, a lot having to due with his past drug addiction. But with recovery, I supported him. He was an idol.

But that night, I realized the tweets were right.

He doesn’t care about fans. He’s on stage, singing for the money. No crowd interaction, no attention being paid to his fans.

I was crushed. This whole time I was excited for someone who was supposed to be whole hearted.

The entire concert was ruined for me but there was one band left. The Color Morale.

Seeing them for my first time at Warped Tour a year ago, I enjoyed them. I imagined it being the same so it wasn’t a huge deal.

Lights were out. The drumming began. One by one each member came out on stage pumped and full of energy and started the set.

I couldn’t help but get pumped with the music. But what contributed most to the set was lead singer, Garret Rapp’s interaction.

He got close with the crowd. Gave the microphone to fans. Screamed with them. Sang with them. Better yet, he looked at me in the eyes. He held my hand.  And as corny as it is, touched my heart.

He made me feel like a part of something more. That we were one. No longer an outcast, but someone who mattered. I couldn’t help but get emotional because my faith was restored.

There was no cocky attitude, arrogant ego, or greediness.

He cares. He reminds his fans how much they mean to him by remembering their names, singing with them, and holding them.

It’s these kinds of band members that keep me sane and going. The reason I’ll beg my mom to let me travel out of town to see them preform. The reason I keep listening to their words of hope. The reason I haven’t given up.

And for as long as I’m here, I will never stop relying on bands and their music as an outlet.