In life, one will gain and lose things every day. One loses friends and precious gifts just as they can gain them. The challenge of getting over losing someone close is hard and it takes a toll on those who experience it.
“It was like losing a piece of me,” sophomore Breanna Joyner said. She knows about this toll and how it can affect people. “Somedays I had to force myself through the day. I just zone out and my mind goes blank so I don’t have to think or feel the pain.”
She not only lost her mother, but she watched her as she got worse. She took care of her until she became too sick and had to be put into hospice. A week later Joyner lost her mother to renal failure, a medical condition where the kidneys fail to properly filter waste products from the blood, and liver failure.
Her mother’s death didn’t seem real to her at first, but then it sunk in. She began planning her mother’s funeral. She booked a church and made flower arrangements for the funeral by herself. She chose the urn for her mother’s ashes, which had dolphins on it. She picked that one because her mom loved them and they had even went swimming with them before.
Joyner tried to spend as much time as she could with her mother. “I miss the little moments we had,” she said. “Whether it was eating ice cream or going to Burger King; it was just getting to spend time with her that I loved.”
For Joyner, some days are harder than others. She said one day she’ll be fine and the next she will be overly distraught. When this happens she likes to take time for herself and just be alone but she doesn’t feel like it because she knows that she has friends and family behind her.
Knowing that the pain won’t hurt as much in time, she tries to stay positive. She focuses on getting good grades and getting prepared for college. Her mother’s passing has inspired her to give back to her country. She has decided that after high school she wants to join the Navy.
Another person who knows about this toll is freshman Alexander Buenrostro. He also just lost someone close to him: his stepmom. His stepmom’s death came as a shock to his family. She passed away in her sleep due to an unknown cause. When the family found out that she had died they were stunned. “There was little to no communication. We just sat around and did nothing,” Buenrostro said.
Buenrostro recalls things about his stepmom. He said that she was “strictly OCD,” that everything had to be clean and that she would always find that one tiny thing like a Cheerio. Buenrostro and his stepmom were close. They would go and see scary movies together.
The loss of his stepmom has affected him. “I wasn’t able to work or concentrate,” Buenrostro said. To cope, he would spend time with family and friends and just try to get his mind off of things.
This experience has caused Buenrostro to look at life differently. Buenrostro said, “I respect their feelings even more and I feel like I have a better understanding of what people are going through.”
He said that his dad plays a big part in why he keeps pushing on. Seeing the way his dad is coping keeps him strong. He said that things are slowly starting to return to normal and when they do he will be glad.
